4) “I’ll be frank.” “Can I still be Theo?”

Worst Offenders:
The Cosby Show, Full House, the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Why It’s Supposed to be Funny:
You see, ‘frank’ is a rarely used word to mean ‘completely honest’, but these darn kids (or mildly retarded roommate, in Full House’s case) just see it as a name! What a delicious G-rated double entendre! This can come in any number of variations, such as the Cosby-classic “Can I still be Theo?” to the modern spins, such as “ooh! I’ll be Dave!”

Why It’s Not:
This tried-and-true line is basically one gigantic slap in the face to the American people, and a complete defamation of the character who utters the “punchline” to this “joke”. The second person in this back-and-forth is supposed to be so dim-witted that he doesn’t understand the word “frank”, automatically assumes that the person talking down to them is initiating some freakish role-play scenario, and, possibly evoking repressed memories from youth, immediately jumps on board with it.

What Would Make it Funny:
If Bill Cosby punched Theo in the face and the scene just fades to black while focusing on his son’s lifeless, bleeding heap on the ground.

I have no idea what’s going on in this picture. Wait, yes I do. That’s why I hate myself.

3) The Ironic “exact opposite of what I just said happens” Maneuver

Worst Offenders:
Every sitcom ever made.

Why It’s Supposed to be Funny:
You can’t really blame the writers for pulling out this get-out-of-jail-free card from time to time. After all, expecting one thing and experiencing the total opposite is one of the paragons of humor. This one happens so much, it’s hard to cite specific examples, but here’s an example:

Rational character: “Don’t do that, you might hurt yourself!”
Irreverent yet lovable character: “Don’t worry, I define smooth! I have a higher-than-average self worth for reasons unknown!”
(Character #2 falls down a flight of stairs)
Scene.

You can throw in any hapless, yet affable characters in the second position and you will see where I’m coming from. Urkel, Joey Gladstone, Tim Taylor, you name it. If a character is notoriously accident prone (which, inexplicably, there is always at least one such character), this is bound to happen fifteen to twenty times an episode.

Why It’s Not:
Reread the example I gave. If even one wrinkle forms around your mouth from the beginnings of a smile forming, you deserve a swift kick to the junk.

What Would Make it Funny:
If character #2 fell down the stairs and never got up. The next episode is a touching funeral service.

2) The “off-the-cuff birds and the bees” explanation

Worst offenders:
Full House, the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Why It’s Supposed to be Funny:
Whenever a character gets pregnant on a sitcom, it’s always met with unbelievable surprise, even if it’s a known fact the couple has been trying to get pregnant for months. One of the shocked family members/friends will exclaim, “how did this happen!”. That’s where the funny begins. One friend will very bluntly explain “well, you see, when two people love each other very much…”. OH the sexual innuendos! I can’t even take it without bursting into laughter! Variations include the questioning buffoon catching his blunder, muttering “well of course I know how it HAPPENED…” with a cocked eyebrow and a suggestive smile.

Why It’s Not:
I don’t know if there’s anything easier to turn to for a cheap laugh than vague sexual references.

What Would Make it Funny:
If after the question is posed, the mom-to-be solemnly looks at the ground and says “…I was raped”.

GET IT?

1) The “I just inadvertently murdered my friend/roommate/loved one’s pet and sole companion, but I’ll just buy another one and he’ll never notice” Caper

Worst Offenders:
Family Matters, Seinfeld, Full House

Why It’s Supposed to Be Funny:
To be perfectly honest, I have no idea. Is this something that happens often? Sitcoms are entirely based around being able to relate, but I can’t think of one goddamned time myself or anyone I’ve ever known has lost or killed a pet or otherwise priceless possession of a friend and instead of fessing up, tried to cover it up with messy, last-minute wackiness. Again, this comes in a number of varieties. The pet is most common, but for no real reason, Family Matters seems to come back to this theme a number of times with inanimate objects. Cakes, laptops, you name it. The laptop one is actually unintentionally funny for it’s outdated-ness; Eddie wants to borrow Laura’s laptop because “I wanna go on the ‘Internet’; they have a new site: bigbooty.com!” And upon breaking it (a comical tug-of-war because Urkel wanted to play the latest “3D computer game”), Urkel explains Laura’s laptop is missing because he “gave it to a friend who will download it with the latest softwares”. …Actually, nope, even latent with early 90s views on the Internet as a passing fad, it’s still not funny at all.

Why It’s Not:
It’s in no way realistic, and also the person who commits this heinous borderline crime should really never be talked to again for how little they can be trusted. No amount of sappy piano music at the end of the episode would make me ever talk to this asshole again.

What Would Make it Funny:
To teach the friend a lesson, the victim skins him alive and stuffs him, assuring his parents that “there’s definitely nothing different about him”.

About the Author: Patrick is a writer, web designer, and graphic artist. You can check out more of his views on pop culture at his website, Adventures in Poor Taste.

Source: CableTV.com

Mad Men first debuted on the AMC Network in 2007. This show has won fourteen Emmy Awards and four Golden Globes to date. This series is focused on the character of Don Draper, played by Jon Hamm. Draper is a founding member of a New York advertising agency. It is set in the 1960s and regularly explores the changing moods and social ideologies of that era. The artistic direction and cinematography in this series are top notch. It captures the look and feel of 1960s New York with style. The writing by show-creator, Matthew Weiner, is consistent and thought provoking. The show is very character driven and is essential viewing for all TV fans.


Sons of Anarchy is often overlooked when it comes to lists of this type. Think of this show as The Sopranos on motorcycles. TV and film has given us plenty of looks into organized crime families and urban gangs. Sons of Anarchy has some of the familiar dynamics of those genres, but within the world of biker gangs. This show debuted on the FX Network in 2008 and focuses on Jax Teller, the club vice president who begins questioning himself and the role of his club. Excellent acting by Charlie Hunnam, Ron Perlman, and Katey Sagal, make this show impossible to stop watching. The characters can be both nasty and charismatic at the same time. The relationships within the club and the well-written stories keep you coming back for more.

Dexter is a show that has appeared on Showtime since 2006. It is based on the novel Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay. Dexter is a sociopath and a serial killer who was adopted by a police officer named Harry Morgan. Dexter has his own ethical code taught to him by Harry in order to make sure he does not get caught and only kills other killers. In this way, Dexter can be a use to society, albeit in a questionable way. This show takes a serial killer who often admires other murderers and transforms him into a charismatic character. You can’t help liking Dexter and then you sort of feel dirty for doing so. This is the mark of some brilliant writing and it makes the show one of the most addicting on TV.

About the author: Amber Tate writes for a living and you can find many of her articles on various insurance websites including kanetix.ca, where she signed up for her life insurance policy.

This was shortly after her head shaving crisis, so perhaps this performance was acceptable? It’s great that she opens by almost falling over. The lip syncing isn’t even remotely correct. The entire show looks like Julliard on meth, surrounding a stationary doll swaying in a bikini.

CMA: Taylor Swift – “Forever and Always”

She’s fumbling around, looks like a stiff board, and way south of the high notes. However, Taylor Swift writes many of her songs and normally has a beautiful voice. Everyone has a day from hell. This was clearly one of them.

SNL: Kanye West – “Runway”

This entire video is weird and unnecessary. Is he even singing or just pushing random buttons? You shouldn’t “sing” live if you can’t sing. Work in a factory if you like pushing buttons.

Superbowl XLV: Black Eyed Peas & Usher

Many are classifying this as the worst Superbowl Halftime performance ever and it created havoc on Twitter. As one user tweeted, “The 2nd quarter game clock is basically a countdown clock to hell.” Another tweet said “I seriously feel like joining al Qaeda right now.”

2006 Grammy Awards : “Across the Universe”

This is a big out-of-tune mess. Does anyone know when their part is? They are all cross-eyed or really confused. I don’t think the Beatles would have appreciated this nonsense. Get it together!

SNL: Ashylee Simpson – “Pieces of Me”

It’s always good to save the best for last. This one is epic. She misses the first line, gets exposed lip-syncing, then starts doing a hoe-down…all within 10 seconds. After they cut to commercial, she blames her blatant mistakes on the band. I wonder why we haven’t heard much from Ashlee Simpson lately? The original can be found here.

Best Actor Television, Drama- Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Best Supporting Actor Television, Drama- John Lithgow, Dexter
Best Supporting Actress Motion Picture- Mo’nique, Precious
Best Animated Feature Film- Up
Best Original Song, Motion Picture- Crazy Heart, “The Weary Kind”
Best Original Score, Motion Picture- Up, Michael Giacchino
Best Actress Television, Drama- Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Best Actress Television Series, Comedy- Toni Collette- United States of Tara
Best Actress Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical- Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia
Best Actor Mini-series, Drama- Kevin Bacon, Taking Chance
Best Actress Mini-series- Drew Barrymore, Grey Gardens
Best Screenplay, Motion Picture- Up in the Air, Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner
Best Actor Television, Comedy- Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television- Grey Gardens
Best Foreign Language Film- The White Ribbon
Best Television Series Drama- Mad Men
Best Supporting Actress Mini-series- Chloe Sevigny, Big Love
Best Supporting Actor Motion Picture- Christoph Waltz, Inglorious Bastards
Best Director Motion Picture- James Cameron, Avatar
Best Television Series, Comedy or Musical- Glee
Best Actor Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical- Robert Downey Jr., Sherlock Holmes
Best Actor Motion Picture, Drama- Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
Best Actress Motion Picture, Drama- Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Best Motion Picture, Cmomedy or Musical- The Hangover
Best Motion Picture, Drama- Avatar

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