Roses are red, some willows weep, please leave your message, after the beep "Hi, we aren't in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you've finished.......

Dear God, Are you really invisible or is that just a trick? Lucy (age 6) ...

Patient comes to the doctor, doctor says:

Three guys are at a restaurant, all with their girlfriends. The first guy, thinking he is all suave, says to his girlfriend..

The woman asked her redneck lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?"

((12 + 144 + 20 + (3 * 4^(1/2))) / 7) + (5 * 11) = 9^2 + 0

Wife: Yesterday I saw a very beautiful girl. Husband: Then what happened? Wife: I just kept on admiring her, on and on.. Husband (gets irritated): WHAT happened then? Wife smiled and said: I m

- A man will pay $2.00 for a $1.00 item he needs. - A woman will pay $1.00 for a $2.00 item that she does not need. - A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. - A man never wor

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?' Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President...

A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?" The clerk behind the counter just looks at