An Open Letter To My Neighbor Above Me
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by: admin
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Word Count: 378
I get it.
You have sx.
My
understanding of your sx life is actually far more comprehensive then
my understanding of my own sx life. Every night I wake up to the sound
of your headboard slamming against the beams above my wall. Your sx is
timely as well, always around 2am on the dot. Is it scheduled in your
Blackberry? Normally I am right in the middle of my usual 2am dream,
which consists of Arctic Penguins and a bunch of British people in a
pool. Regardless, you do have a consist rhythm which is, thankfully for
me, only about eight pumps long, and then it is over. You also like to
have sx at 7am, which has actually become a better tool for waking me
up in the morning then my actual alarm now. But last Sunday, on the DAY
OF JESUS MAY I REMIND YOU, at 2pm when I was trying to watch Sisterhood
of the Traveling Pants, your bed was hitting the wall harder than a
coke-heads jaw. I was sitting there thinking, OK, enough, I get it. I
mean, for the love of Jesus, you must have sx what 14? Maybe even 18
times a week? 18 times A WEEK? I think 18 times would be a good YEAR
for me. I was tempted that bright sunny Sunday afternoon to walk
upstairs and bang on your door screaming, "I GET IT! YOU HAVE SX! I GET
IT, FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST ALMIGHTY, LET THE WALL REST, THE WALL IS
HURTING! THE BEAMS NEED A DAY OFF!" How much sx do you need to be
having? I suggest one time a year. How about that? How about you read
some books? Or invest in a hobby, such as darts, or chess? I also have
some facemasks and old teeth retainers that, when worn, I have found as
a very preventative tool forever having any sx ever again. Maybe you
need a good show to watch at night? May I suggest CSI Miami? TLC's A
Baby Story? Or even ESPN's How to Catch a Fish? And as much as I loved
hearing your eight pumps in all their glory this morning, I have to
say, I could do without. .....................
Thank you,
Your Neighbor Below,
NYC Ponderings
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