{"id":110,"date":"2008-12-18T11:06:57","date_gmt":"2008-12-18T19:06:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/funcage.com\/blog\/?p=110"},"modified":"2008-12-18T11:06:57","modified_gmt":"2008-12-18T19:06:57","slug":"stupid-wife","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.funcage.com\/blog\/stupid-wife\/","title":{"rendered":"Stupid Wife"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The driver says, &#8216;Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.&#8217;\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: &#8216;Now don&#8217;t be silly dear, you know that this car doesn&#8217;t have cruise control.&#8217;\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, &#8216;Can&#8217;t you please keep your mouth shut for once?&#8217;\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The wife smiles demurely and says, &#8216;You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.&#8217;\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>As the officer makes out a second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit fitted in the car he had just pulled over, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, &#8216;Damit, woman, can&#8217;t you keep your mouth shut?&#8217;\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The officer frowns and says, &#8216;And I notice that you&#8217;re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That&#8217;s an automatic $75 fine.&#8217;\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The driver says, &#8216;Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.&#8217;\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The wife says, &#8216;Now, dear, you know very well that you didn&#8217;t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you&#8217;re driving.&#8217;\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, &#8216;WHY DON&#8217;T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??&#8217;\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The officer looks over at the woman and asks, &#8216;Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma&#8217;am?&#8217;\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The wife says, &#8216;Only when he&#8217;s been drinking.&#8217;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The driver says, &#8216;Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.&#8217;\u00a0 Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: &#8216;Now don&#8217;t&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[65],"tags":[67,66,68],"class_list":["post-110","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jokes","tag-dumb","tag-stupid","tag-wife"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.7 - 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