These are things people actually said in court!<\/p>\n
Q:\u00a0 What is your date of birth?
\nA:\u00a0 July fifteen.
\nQ:\u00a0 What year?
\nA:\u00a0 Every year.
\n—————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
\nA:\u00a0 Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
\n—————————————————
\nQ: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
\nA: Yes.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
\nA: I forget.
\nQ: You forget.\u00a0 Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?
\n—————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 How old is your son, the one living with you?
\nA:\u00a0 Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
\nQ:\u00a0 How long has he lived with you?
\nA:\u00a0 Forty-five years.
\n—————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
\nA:\u00a0 He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
\nQ:\u00a0 And why did that upset you?
\nA:\u00a0 My name is Susan.<\/p>\n
\n—————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 And where was the location of the accident?
\nA:\u00a0 Approximately milepost 499.
\nQ:\u00a0 And where is milepost 499?
\nA:\u00a0 Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
\n—————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 Sir, what is your IQ?
\nA:\u00a0 Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
\n—————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 Did you blow your horn or anything?
\nA:\u00a0 After the accident?
\nQ:\u00a0 Before the accident.
\nA:\u00a0 Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.<\/p>\n
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\nQ:\u00a0 Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
\nA:\u00a0 Yes.
\nQ:\u00a0 Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
\nA:\u00a0 Yes, sir.
\nQ:\u00a0 What did she say?
\nA:\u00a0 What disco am I at?
\n—————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
\nA:\u00a0 Yes.
\nQ:\u00a0 And what were you doing at that time?
\n—————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 She had three children, right?
\nA:\u00a0 Yes.
\nQ:\u00a0 How many were boys?
\nA:\u00a0 None.
\nQ:\u00a0 Were there any girls?
\n—————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 You say the stairs went down to the basement?
\nA:\u00a0 Yes.
\nQ:\u00a0 And these stairs, did they go up also?
\n————————————————–
\nQ:\u00a0 Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?
\nA:\u00a0 I went to Europe, Sir.
\nQ:\u00a0 And you took your new wife?
\n—————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 How was your first marriage terminated?
\nA:\u00a0 By death.
\nQ:\u00a0 And by whose death was it terminated?
\n—————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 Can you describe the individual?
\nA:\u00a0 He was about medium height and had a beard.
\nQ:\u00a0 Was this a male, or a female?
\n—————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
\nA:\u00a0 No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
\n—————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
\nA:\u00a0 All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
\n—————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 All your responses must be oral, OK?\u00a0 What school did you go to?
\nA:\u00a0 Oral.
\n—————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
\nA:\u00a0 The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
\nQ:\u00a0 And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
\nA:\u00a0 No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
\n—————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
\n—————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
\nA:\u00a0 No.
\nQ:\u00a0 Did you check for blood pressure?
\nA:\u00a0 No.
\nQ:\u00a0 Did you check for breathing?
\nA:\u00a0 No.
\nQ:\u00a0 So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
\nA:\u00a0 No.
\nQ:\u00a0 How can you be so sure, Doctor?
\nA:\u00a0 Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
\nQ:\u00a0 But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
\nA:\u00a0 It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 —————————————————
\nQ:\u00a0 You were not shot in the fracas?
\nA:\u00a0 No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.<\/p>\n
I got these in an email, please let me know if you know the source, thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
These are things people actually said in court! Q:\u00a0 What is your date of birth? A:\u00a0 July fifteen. Q:\u00a0 What year? A:\u00a0 Every year. ————————————————— Q:\u00a0 What gear were you…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[65],"tags":[107,106],"class_list":["post-203","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jokes","tag-court","tag-funny"],"yoast_head":"\n