Stag weekends have become way too predictable. Whilst dressing the stag up like a girl and tying him to a lamp-post and are all well and good, most stag party ideas have been done to death. What can you plot that’s different? Something he’ll never be able to foresee?
Picture the scene: You’re on a stag weekend abroad in Tallinn, party capital of Eastern Europe, and things couldn’t be going better. The beer’s cheap, the clubs are great and that go-karting afternoon yesterday went down a treat. You’re enjoying breakfast in a sunny square, trying to figure out how the stag – let’s call him Brad – lost his shoes and ended up asleep in the hotel lift last night.
Breakfasts arrive and you’re about to tuck in, when a khaki-green truck rattles into the square and three uniformed guards leap out. The tallest one yells across the street, gesturing towards your table. You put your heads down, trying not to stare, but they start marching over. A sickening realization dawns: they were yelling at you.
The tall guard, he seems to be in charge, starts barking orders, and hauls Brad out of his seat. He opens his mouth to protest but the guards whip out a pair of handcuffs and a blindfold, and march him over to the truck. Naturally, everyone protests, more handcuffs come out and, before you know it, you’ve all been bundled into the back of the vehicle.
Steel doors swing shut, the engine starts up and the truck rattles out of the square. Surely they’ve got this wrong. Did the hotel complain about the noise? Did they find something in Brad’s suitcase? If only you could remember what happened last night…
Eventually, the truck grinds to a halt and you hear screaming and gunshots outside. You probably shouldn’t, but you can’t resist:
“Anyone seen that film, Hostel?”
“What!?” Brad gasps.
“You know – mates get kidnapped, locked in a cell…”
“I know what happens!” Brad screams, his face draining of colour.
The truck doors open, and Brad is dragged outside. The guards start interrogating him, demanding to know where he’s from and what he did last night.
Just when he starts to tell them everything, you hand him a beer from the back of the truck – now he’s really confused. When the blindfold comes off, his mates are grinning alongside the guards, all raising cold beers in the air: Brad doesn’t know whether to hug you or hit you!
As stag party ideas go, this has to be the best stitch up ever – just make sure someone gets it all on camera and, unless you want to face some serious repercussions, make a mental note NOT to make Brad your best man when you get married!